My Love For Her

I felt nothing for her. Nothing at all. Maybe i am heartless or maybe i am emotionally empty. I had loved her once or maybe not but we had once been in a relationship. I saw the sorrow in her eyes. I could tell that she did regret every single thing that she did to me . She deserved the tears. It really was of no use after so many years. At least not for me. Maybe i still loved her but she just cant walk in and out of my life. Tow years back when she left me shattered and broken did i cry. Maybe i did and maybe it is the price of those tears that she is paying now. She deserved the tears. She was herself responsible for her tears.

"I am sorry, i really am" , she said.

Those words seemed so blunt. I know she was sorry and i know she had regret but after what had happened i could not trust her. "But Whats the use after so long" I asked.

"I am sorry that i left you. That may have been my biggest mistake in life but you dont deserve to punish me like this. You know i still love you, you know i am sorry. I want to make it up to you.You know i had my reasons to leave you ." she said

I couldnt even get the meaning of her words. She may have had her reasons but she had left me without a word . Not even a goodbye , not even anything. I even tried to contact her . I had written her mails everyday for about 4 months after she left but she dint even bother to reply. And now she comes to me all of a sudden when i have already learnt to live without her. When i have been able to pick up my broken life and am trying to move on with life.

"But i have learnt to live without you" i said

"we can start over new" she replied

Start over new????? Even her shigt was a pain to me. She made me remember all those days spent in pain missing her. My days spent with her was a waste of my time, we did share eternal memories but i felt nothing for her. I had vengeance for her in my heart and i had always wanted to ruin her life for ruining mine. But after seeing her even my hate for her died. I felt nothing. Empty from within.

"Sorry that is not possible" i said, " i dont think that i will ever be able to trust you again."

I saw pain in her eyes. She knew that she had changed me. The separation has changed me. She knew that i was no longer the cheerful old guy she used to love. I could see that her eyes had already swollen by crying for such a long time. Yet I felt nothing for her.

Then i realized that yeha after all she has changed me. And the love for her in me had died , finally.